Golf0clock v1.0

This is G0C’s inaugural missive to the world of gawf.

As the chief opinion correspondent, it is my aim to offer the reader an ‘emergency 9’ of snackable golf content, hot-takes and serve you the just right flavor nuggets of what was seen and unseen this week in the world of golf. Whether it was LIV or PGA or some other golf league, you’ll hear an unvarnished take, albeit from the couch.

Watch out for occassional Guest Rebuttals. Some weeks we may focus more on betting and gear than the actual golf action. We’ll figure it out as we go. And we hope you enjoy.

Hope to talk soon.

Without further ado… Week 8.21

Emergency 9

9. Could you have asked for a better final pairing at the FedEx, Southern Company, Coca-Cola, Accenture Tour Championship? Two guys I have almost 0.0 passion for or interest in (until now) – Xander Schauffle and Viktor Hovland – laid down absolutely riveting golf performances. 62 and 63 on a Sunday, respectively, for 18 holes of golf with $18million scheckles on the line for the winner. Am I correct in stating neither had a bogey and both finished -19 gross for the tournament? Wild.

8. Let’s talk for just a minute about our sponsors, or East Lake’s sponsors – FedEx, obvs; Southern Company, sounds a bit racist; Coca-Cola, sugar water syrup of Hotlanta; and Accenture, like maybe green-billed CPA’s or something?  Anyway, without them the $18 million dollar purse to the Viktor (see what I did there) wouldn’t be possible, plus $6M, plus $5M, and on and on down to plus $.5M for 30^th (nice tie Emilio Grill and Taylor Moore). So, I guess thanks to our sponsors.

7. For a place called “East Lake” I must say we did not see a lot of splashes. We saw a couple for sure mostly after we tickled John Rahm with a $5 mortgage on Sunday. When we get to the betting section below, be advised, always bet against Marv, always. Who’s Marv?

6. Hovland’s apparel. The fact that the mainstream American golf media isn’t touching, or torching, his shirt designs with a ten-foot pole is laughable. As I texted to a pal during the broadcast – “I am actually warming up to Deiter Hov’s apparel design!” Did anyone even know that Hov’s shirts are a legit apparel company – J. Lindberg. Swedish apparel manufacturer, worn by a Norwegian. Hmmm? No conflict of interest there? No USA vs. Canada bullshit to wade through. How would I know?

5. Xander your shirt wasn’t much better. At least it hid the sweat. Your bestie Mrs. Landingham, err Pat Cantlay, was absolutely a version of Lucas Glover but swamp-chest and swamp-pits and swamp-back. That Patty Cantlay was a disaster of hyperhidrosis (New England prep school education rearing its ugly head).  (Also, Mrs. Landingham is a West Wing reference for those paying attention.) Do the work people.

4. Speaking of dynamic duos – we’ll likely see Cantlay and Schauffle inseparable in Rome for the Ryder Cup in 4+ weeks, but who else will be see? For instance, Spieth (laid a turd at East Lake) and JT (laid a turd all over 2023)? Lucas Glover — likely not. Dick Fowler — likely to appear. Brooksie — LFG, we hope so. Speaking of LIV’ers and the Ryder. Sure would be cool to see DJ there. And God Bless America if we see Phil walking the ropes.

3. Rome. Marco Simone. Looks unreal. Unfortunately for us couch surfers in the US – we’ll be tuning in or streaming at 0’dark-thirty in the morning. Hopeful the USA shuts the door on the Euros by Friday afternoon. https://www.rydercup.com/news-media/marco-simone-italys-first-ryder-cup-venue

2. Burying the lead here, kinda a little bit, I have so much anxiety about the American team. The Euros, from a far, look pretty potent actually depending on how the roster rounds out. But honestly the USA captain (Zack Johnson) and his assistants have an atrocious record in the Ryder Cup as players. The question needs to be answered, will Zach Johnson muster the courage to assemble the right Frankenstein monster for that bastard of a course?

1. Match play and team golf is just different. Americans are largely automatons. I don’t have the best feeling going in.